


Cliffs Edge

by kingkyungsoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Endgame Baeksoo, F/F, Genderswap, girl!baekhyun, girl!kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 23:02:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingkyungsoo/pseuds/kingkyungsoo
Summary: Kyungsoo never knew what she wanted until Baekhyun moved in next door, and then she had never wanted anything more.





	Cliffs Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! I have finally finished this! I have been writing this since April last year and I cant believe I finally finished it! I have so many people to thank! First of all my best friend S who has painstakingly read and helped me edit this fic since the beginning! Second of all H, J and C who have also read this fanfic and helped me so much! I would not have been able to Finnish this without their constant support! 
> 
> 12k may not seem like a lot but this is the longest fic I have ever written and I am very proud of it!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story!
> 
> \- E :D

Kyungsoo lived in a small town, the kind of small town with one primary school and one secondary school, where everyone knows each other in some way or another, whether it was a friend of a friend or a family member, everyone knew of everyone. This is why when a new family moved into the house next door that had been empty for years, everyone in town was curious. 

Kyungsoo peered out her bedroom window at the commotion going on outside one hot summer afternoon. She struggled to see much other than a moving truck and the backs of people moving things into the house, she quickly lost interest and flopped down onto her bed fanning her face to keep her cool. The end of summer was quickly approaching and she would be starting her second last year at high school in a few weeks.

It wasn't until a few days later that Kyungsoo actually got to see the enamoured new neighbours who were the hot gossip of the town. Her mother was especially curious, often found chatting to anyone who knew anything about them in their neighbourhood. Her mother was so curious that she baked cookies to bring to the new neighbours, she claimed she was being friendly by welcoming them into the neighbourhood but Kyungsoo knew better. She knew her mother just wanted to be the first one to know the real story behind their impromptu move to this small town, as first as foremost her mother was the biggest gossip in the entire town. Kyungsoo played along for her mother's sake. She played her part as the perfect daughter in their perfect family, who of course live in a perfect house, with a charming mother and father.

They approach the baby blue wood sided house, Kyungsoo trailing behind holding the cookies her mum had baked on one of their good white plates covered with glad wrap. Her mother knocks on the door and steps back, fixing her hair and preparing her most friendly smile. The door opens and a small woman with delicate features and a plump body covered in casual wear looks at them curiously. 

“Hi, we are your new neighbours and we thought we would introduce ourselves.” Her mother says with the biggest smile she only puts on to impress. “I’m Hyejin and this is my daughter Kyungsoo.” She finishes after a pause.

“Oh, nice to meet you! I'm Jiyoung, come inside and I'll introduce you to my daughter.” She answers stepping aside to let them in. Kyungsoo slips off her shoes and shuffles them with her feet to face the front door. The first thing she notices is a lot of moving boxes strewn across the floor, the house being in a general state of chaos, but other than that it seemed like it would be a nice house once they finished unpacking. 

“Baekhyun come downstairs we have guests.” Jiyoung yells up the stairs, a couple of seconds later, a girl appears coming down the stairs to stand next to her mother. The girl has short brown hair that brushes against her jaw and is slightly taller than her mother, she wears clothes that her own mother would never let her dream of wearing. They are tight fitting and show more skin Kyungsoo has ever seen on another girl in her life, Kyungsoo knows her mother considers this scandalous by the way she is eyeballing the poor girl with a frown. Kyungsoo had never seen anyone as beautiful as her and is a little taken aback by it. She is more than a little envious as Baekhyun looked like the kpop idol Kyungsoo has always dreamed of being.

“Baekhyun this is Hyejin and her daughter Kyungsoo,” Jiyoung says.

“Nice to meet you Baekhyun, you look to be around my daughter's age how old are you?” Hyejin asks

“Ah, I'm sixteen and going into my second last year of school.” Baekhyun answers.

“Oh! My Kyungsoo is the same age as you.” Her mother says pushing Kyungsoo forward who was shyly standing behind her mother clutching the cookie plate like a lifeline. Her mother motioned her hand towards the other girl and Kyungsoo bows towards her holding out the plate of cookies peering at Baekhyun shyly through the curtain of hair that had fallen from behind her ear. Baekhyun accepts the cookies bowing back and disappears into what Kyungsoo assumes is the kitchen for a few seconds before coming back, grinning at Kyungsoo widely. 

“Baekhyun why don't you take Kyungsoo up to your room and get to know her while her mother and I have a cup of tea,” Jiyoung says, the other hums lowly in response before grabbing Kyungsoo’s wrist and pulling her up the stairs. Kyungsoo looks back at her mother with wide eyes and her mother gives her an encouraging nod before Kyungsoo disappears at the top of the stairs. She takes a deep breath as they enter Baekhyun’s room to calm her nerves and shakes her wrist free of the other's grip, Kyungsoo had always been an anxious child. 

“You can sit on my bed if you like, I haven't unpacked my desk chair yet,” Baekhyun says pointing at her bed. Kyungsoo perches on the edge of the bed smoothing out the skirt of her yellow dress, staring at the pale blue carpet on the floor as if it would somehow swallow her whole. She hears Baekhyun rummaging through something and uses that time to assess her surroundings. Baekhyun’s room was rather large with the double bed Kyungsoo was sitting on against the wall across from the window that her desk is sitting under. Her room was rather messy, with her clothes strewn across the floor by her dresser and wardrobe, obviously yet to be put away. There were already a few posters of bands Kyungsoo had never heard of pinned onto the yellow sunflower patterned wallpaper that covered the walls.

“So have you lived here your whole life Kyungsoo?” Her head popping up from the box she had been looking for something in to ask.

“Yes I have, where are you from?” Kyungsoo responds politely, but also out of curiosity.

“Ah, that must suck, everyone and everything here looks like a bore! We moved here from Bucheon.” Baekhyun says with a sigh, Kyungsoo is a bit taken aback by her blatant attitude but can't help but agree a little. The fact that she is from a big city explains a lot about her attitude and the way she dresses, so Kyungsoo can look past her impoliteness and provocative clothing. 

“I know what you mean about the people being boring, but there are lots of fun things to do here if you know where to look.” And Kyungsoo wasn't lying about that as over the years she had found many ways to entertain herself, outside of her mother's watchful eye of course.

“You will have to show me some time, I mean we are neighbours and I fully expect us to be friends! Sorry if I’m being too forward.” Baekhyun says smiling cheekily at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo can't help but notice how her smile is in the shape of a rectangle. It shows off her pointy canines and Kyungsoo thinks it’s adorable and can't help but grin back.

“No it’s okay, I think it’s something I can get used too.” Kyungsoo says, pushing her hair behind her ears and looking down at Baekhyun with her cheeks tinted light pink. Kyungsoo found out later that night that Baekhyun and her mother had moved to the small town for a fresh start, her mother and father had recently divorced and her mother wanted to leave the city.

The end of the holidays approached far too fast after meeting Baekhyun, Kyungsoo soon found that most of her free time was taken up by Baekhyun's sudden appearances. If she was about to read a book Baekhyun would suddenly appear asking if she wanted to do something, if she sat down to watch TV, Baekhyun would come inside and drag her out to explore the small town they lived in. Almost every day of the two weeks or so they had left was consumed by Baekhyun, but Kyungsoo found that she really didn't mind.

It was the day before they were to go back to school, Kyungsoo had gone around to Baekhyun’s house just before lunch. She had gotten home from church and decided to help Baekhyun prepare for the next day, but it was already three in the afternoon and they had yet to achieve anything. These moments were Kyungsoo’s favourite, where Baekhyun would be sprawled out across her bed scrolling through her phone, and Kyungsoo lounging in a sunny patch beneath the window. She would pretend to read a magazine her mother would never allow her to own, but secretly, she was watching Baekhyun from the corner of her eye. Staring at her pink lips or the cute way her eyes scrunch up when she smiles, but she mostly ends up blushing and looking away when Baekhyun catches her staring. She never comments on it though, and Kyungsoo’s a little thankful for that. Kyungsoo should be surprised at how close they became so fast but truly she isn't, it felt as if she had always known her.

“Maybe we should do something productive,” Baekhyun says, finally chucking her phone beside her and crawling to the end of her bed so she is lying on her stomach facing Kyungsoo with her head resting in her hands. 

“We probably should but I'm too comfortable here in the sun,” Kyungsoo says looking up at her with a grin.

“How about instead of moving you tell me about what my new school is like?” Baekhyun suggests.

“I don't really know where to start,” Kyungsoo says unsurely 

“How about telling me about your friends!” 

“Well my best friend’s name is Sehun and she's great! Sehun is dating a guy named Junmyeon so they are kind of a package deal and they are the oddest couple you will ever meet!” Kyungsoo says Laughing.

“How so?” Baekhyun continues with a grin of her own from Kyungsoo’s infectious laughter.

“You will see when you meet them, trust me.” She says pausing to collect her thoughts “I think it would just be easier to introduce you to them tomorrow because, well obviously I haven't seen them in a while as I've been too busy with you.” Kyungsoo finishes shyly looking down and letting her hair fall in front of her face.

“Mhm.” Baekhyun hums in agreement, reaching forward to tuck Kyungsoo’s hair behind her ear. Kyungsoo looks up with wide eyes to see Baekhyun grinning down at her with an almost fond expression. Kyungsoo pulls away from Baekhyun's hand but the feeling still lingered on the side of her face, the finger tips that brushed lightly across her jaw leave a lasting burning sensation as if to warn her not to go into this uncharted territory and Kyungsoo obeys knowing that the consequences of even the slight consideration can not be good. Kyungsoo isn't even sure what she's considering but she knows that Baekhyun’s stare shouldn't be making her stomach feel warm and her touch shouldn’t leave a lingering burn. So, for now, she ignores it with a hurried excuse that she has to help with dinner even though it's only three thirty in the afternoon. Kyungsoo promises to walk to school with her tomorrow before collecting her things and rushing home.

 

Kyungsoo wakes up well before her alarm the next morning, unable to fall back asleep, stares at the changing numbers until it hits seven am and her alarm goes off. Kyungsoo is the type of person with a strict routine during school weeks that she rarely breaks. She gets out of bed as soon as she turns off her alarm and makes her bed before going to the bathroom to have a shower. Although Kyungsoo would much rather stand under the warm water of the shower for longer, she knows she can't let herself. She turns the water off and steps out grabbing a towel off the rack and wrapping it around herself, before grabbing another to dry her long black hair. She puts on her school uniform, white blouse, blue and black striped tie, the black pleated skirt just past the knees, dark blue blazer and navy socks to her shins paired with black school shoes. She grabs her school bag she had packed last night with all her supplies before heading downstairs to the kitchen to have her breakfast.

She heads over to Baekhyun’s house promptly at 8:15 am to see if she’s ready for school. She knocks on the door and is greeted by a ruffled Baekhyun. She opens the door half asleep with her uniform messily put together and a toothbrush hanging out her mouth with toothpaste dribbling down her chin. Kyungsoo can't help but burst into laughter at the sight before her.

“You’re a mess!” Kyungsoo says while pushing Baekhyun back into her house. “What time did you go to sleep last night?” She continues taking off her shoes at the door, knowing Baekhyun is far from ready.

“I don’t know 2am maybe?” Baekhyun mumbles through her toothbrush before disappearing into the kitchen to spit her toothpaste in the sink. Kyungsoo scowls in disgust as she follows the other. 

“No wonder you’re a mess,” Kyungsoo mutters approaching Baekhyun by the kitchen sink to fix her uniform, starting with tucking in her shirt, fixing her tie and attempting to pull down her skirt which is much too short. It falls mid thigh and shows off Baekhyun’s amazing legs in a way that Kyungsoo’s mother would consider scandalous. Kyungsoo wished her legs looked like that, she hates that fact that they are almost the same height but Baekhyun still looks like a supermodel despite that.

“You’re so cute in the morning, Soo.” Baekhyun says grinning down at her, Kyungsoo looks up shaking her head and wipes the toothpaste off Baekhyun’s chin with her thumb.

“Let’s go to school.” Kyungsoo says tugging on Baekhyun’s sleeve, pulling her towards the door. Baekhyun grabs her school bag from the hallway as Kyungsoo slips on her school shoes by the door swinging her bag over her shoulder. The 10-minute walk to school is mostly spent in silence on Kyungsoo’s part but full of mindless chatter from Baekhyun’s. They approach the entrance to the school just after half past eight and Baekhyun stops at the gate.

“I’m a bit nervous not gonna lie,” Baekhyun says clutching onto Kyungsoo’s arm.

“You will be fine I promise! All my friends are super nice they will love you!” Kyungsoo encourages. 

“I don't want to intrude, I mean you guys have known each other your whole lives! Who am I to come in all of a sudden and try to be friends with them?” Baekhyun admits quietly, Kyungsoo laughs.

“Baekhyun, the only person in the whole group I have known my whole life is Sehun, the rest have trickled in over the years. Also, we only meet Yixing halfway through our first year of high school when she transferred from China, I'm certain you will be fine.” Kyungsoo says with a smile hooking her arm through Baekhyun's and leading her into the school. Kyungsoo leads Baekhyun to the area where she and her friends usually hang out. It's a little alcove off a corridor with lockers lining the walls that no one uses, they sit leaning against the lockers during lunch and interval. When they arrive Kyungsoo is surprised to see Sehun and Yixing already there leaning against the lockers chatting animatedly to each other. Sehun had come back from America taller and skinnier than before and had dyed her hair a light shade of brown. Yixing seemed even more beautiful with her long black hair flowing down her back and over her shoulders. She missed her friends so much.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun yells running over to give Kyungsoo a hug as soon as she sees her, Kyungsoo lets go of Baekhyun to hug her happily rocking side to side. When Sehun pulls away she is engulfed by an eager Yixing who squeezes her tight and kisses her cheek when she pulls away.

“I missed you so much Soo!” Yixing exclaims pinching her cheeks. Kyungsoo swats her hands away pulling Baekhyun back beside her.

“Guys this is my new neighbour Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo introduces pushing Baekhyun forward. Baekhyun bows at them. “And Baekhyun this is Yixing and Sehun!” She continues and Sehun and Yixing bow back.

“So this is what you have been doing..” Sehun says pointedly with a grin. 

“Ah, yeah sorry for not catching up.” Kyungsoo’s says cheeks turning pink and looking at Baekhyun from the corner of her eye. Baekhyun just laughs and pokes her side lightly.

“Sorry for stealing her away.” Baekhyun grins seeming unapologetic and probably is. 

“Nah it's okay, I'm just glad Kyungsoo didn't hole herself up in her house for the whole holidays like she usually does!” Sehun says wrapping an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders which Kyungsoo shrugs off in faux annoyance. She lets out a small huff but the small smile on her lips shows that she’s not letting the teasing get to her. Sehun is all too soon distracted by her boyfriend Junmyeon’s arrival with Chanyeol and Jongin trailing behind. 

“Myeonie!” Sehun squeals launching herself into her boyfriend's arms quite literally, Junmyeon stumbles back a bit from the impact of his tall girlfriend before regaining balance and leaning up to kiss her. Chanyeol fake gags in the background at the PDA before him.

“I see what you meant by ‘odd couple’,” Baekhyun whispers into Kyungsoo’s ear while giggling. 

“Believe it or not but her being taller than him is the most normal thing in their entire relationship,” Kyungsoo says back joining in with her giggling. 

“What are you two laughing about?” Jongdae says sneaking up behind giving them a fright making him burst into laughter. 

“Jongdae!” Kyungsoo exclaims whacking her assailant on the arm.

“Sorry, Kyung it was too easy!” Jongdae says still laughing.

“Leave them alone Jongdae,” Minseok says rolling his eyes. “Anyway, Kyungsoo who is this?” Minseok asks.

“Oh! This is my new neighbour Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo says and Baekhyun bows to all the new arrivals as they introduce themselves. The first day back is spent rather uneventful, after a morning assembly, they receive their timetables for the year and head for their second period. Kyungsoo is lucky to have at least one of her friends in every class, sharing half of her 7 subjects with Baekhyun.

The first week back seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye and soon it was Friday end of the day and Baekhyun was waiting for her outside the school. She was staring at Kyungsoo smiling widely hands holding onto the straps of her bag practically bouncing on her feet, her short hair blowing into her face and getting caught in her lip balm causing Kyungsoo to laugh. She reaches out to Baekhyun still laughing and pulls her hair off her face using the hair tie on her wrist to tie it in a loose ponytail behind Baekhyun's head, with half her hair still not in the ponytail Baekhyun grabs Kyungsoo’s arm and hooks their arms together to begin their walk home. 

“Do you want to stay at my house tonight?” Baekhyun asks.

“I’ll have to ask my mum but I'm sure it will be fine!” Kyungsoo answers excitedly as they hadn't had a sleepover yet. “Have you asked your mum?” 

“No, but mum will be fine with it,” Baekhyun assures as Kyungsoo speeds up her pace to get home faster.

“Mum!” She yells out when she gets home leaving Baekhyun at her doorstep.

“Yes, dear?” Her mother calls back from the living room where she is reading a book and sipping tea.

“May I stay at Baekhyun’s house tonight?” She asks.

“Sure, as long as all your homework gets done at some stage this weekend.” Her mother answers and Kyungsoo thanks her before running upstairs and grabbing a change of clothes and her toiletries and shoving them in a bag. She runs back downstairs yelling goodbye to her mother as she leaves the house.

“Let’s go!” Kyungsoo says grabbing Baekhyun’s arm and dragging her the short distance to her own house. Baekhyun just laughs allowing herself to be dragged along. Kyungsoo opens the front door and yells a greeting to Baekhyun’s mother while Baekhyun kicks off her shoes and grabs Kyungsoo’s hand pulling her towards the stairs. Kyungsoo resists for a second taking off her own shoes and placing them neatly in the shoe rack before doing the same to Baekhyun’s discarded ones. 

“You’re too good, Soo.” Baekhyun says with a strange smile on her face. Kyungsoo is taken aback, she had always been told she was a good girl by almost everyone, but no one had ever said it as if it were a bad thing. Kyungsoo wasn't sure if Baekhyun meant it in a bad way or just stating it as a simple fact.

“Is being good a bad thing?” Kyungsoo asks and Baekhyun’s shoulders shake from silent laughter pulling her hand away from Kyungsoo’s and running up the stairs. Kyungsoo is too busy watching the way Baekhyun’s skirt rises slightly with each step she takes upstairs to think much of it. She quickly shakes herself out of her trance and follows Baekhyun up the stairs deciding to just brush the incident off. 

“Seriously Baek, am I too good?” Kyungsoo asks dropping her bag on the floor and jumping on Baekhyun’s bed face first. 

“Kyungsoo I don't mean it in a bad way!” Baekhyun says jumping on the bed and sitting cross-legged beside Kyungsoo’s downturned form.

“How do you mean it then?” Kyungsoo asks changing to lie on her side looking up at Baekhyun with wide eyes. 

“I’m not sure, I suppose it’s your innocent demure,” Baekhyun says reaching her hands out to run her fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair. “You’re like every guy's dream! You’re cute, innocent, sweet, small, and cuddly!” Baekhyun finishes and Kyungsoo ducks her head back into the bed to hide, her reddening cheeks mumbling about not being cute. Baekhyun giggles.

“You are cute Soo, you’re every gay girl's dream as well,” Baekhyun says too quiet for Kyungsoo to hear. Kyungsoo sits up with light pink still dusting her cheeks.

“We should get changed,” Kyungsoo suggests and Baekhyun hums in agreement getting up off the bed to go to her dresser. Kyungsoo sits up and reaches off the bed to grab her bag trying not to fall in the process and succeeding only just. Kyungsoo looks up from her bag and nearly falls off the bed again at the sight of Baekhyun who has just taken off her school shirt. Kyungsoo ogles at the sight of Baekhyun’s bare skin. Baekhyun pulls on an oversized t-shirt and slips off her skirt before bending down to grab some shorts from her bottom draw giving Kyungsoo a great view of her ass. Kyungsoo who didn't realise she was beginning to lean forward, actually does fall off the bed, this time tumbling to the floor letting out a groan as she makes contact. 

“Oh my gosh! Are you okay!?” Baekhyun asks running over to an embarrassed Kyungsoo who lets out a small squeak. Baekhyun leans over Kyungsoo looking worried but all Kyungsoo can think of is how pretty the other is. Her short hair fanned out around her face like a halo as she leans over the other, her face is full of worry but Kyungsoo can only stare at her soft pink lips and think about how much she would like to kiss her. It honestly scares her, Kyungsoo had never really thought about kissing anyone before. It was bad enough that Baekhyun was her friend let alone the fact she was a girl. 

“I’m fine!” Kyungsoo all but shouts shooting up from her place sprawled out on the ground only to bump her head into Baekhyun’s and fall back down. Baekhyun loses her balance from the impact and falls on Kyungsoo with a small "oof". Baekhyun rolls off Kyungsoo laughing loudly and Kyungsoo is too shocked to processes anything but the pain on her head and the sound of Baekhyun’s tinkling laughter in her ear. Kyungsoo feels warm inside she's not sure if it's the warmth from Baekhyun who is pressed against her side or the sound of Baekhyun's laughter. Either way, Kyungsoo knows that it is a feeling she wants to feel forever. Baekhyun's laughter tapers off as she meets Kyungsoo’s gaze, Baekhyun smiles at her and lifts her head up to rest it on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asks as Baekhyun hums lowly to show she’s listening. A thousand things run through her head that she could ask Baekhyun right now but she honestly doesn't know if she could have the confidence to ask any of them so instead she asks if Baekhyun is going to put on pants. Baekhyun giggles and cuddles closer to Kyungsoo claiming she's too comfortable to put on pants. Baekhyun does actually put on pants when her mother calls them down for dinner and Kyungsoo lets out a breath of relief not knowing how much longer she could hold off her hands that were itching to run down Baekhyun’s smooth legs. Baekhyun’s mother had prepared way too much food for just the three of them but who was Kyungsoo to complain. After dinner, they hurried back upstairs bumping hips and giggling.

“So have you got any gossip?” Baekhyun asks jumping on her bed and pulling Kyungsoo with her.

“Depends on what you mean by gossip.” Kyungsoo answers.

“Literally anything! Who likes who, who is fighting, you know, stuff like that.” Baekhyun explains.

“Well I'm pretty sure Minseok has a crush on Luhan the foreign exchange student, you know the one? She's really pretty and the captain of the girl's football team.” 

“Luhan? I thought it was pretty obvious that Minseok likes Jongdae?” Baekhyun says and Kyungsoo is a bit shocked. She supposes she can see it now that Baekhyun mentioned it but she had never really considered it before. It makes sense the more she thinks about it, the way they stare at each other, the way Jongdae goes red when Minseok so much as looks at him. Kyungsoo feels a little dumb for not realising before.

“I suppose you are right actually, I had never really thought about it before but Minseok does look at Jongdae a lot.”

“Well, I've seen them holding hands under their table in English so I think they might already be dating.” 

“Seriously! Why haven't they told us!?” Kyungsoo blurted.

“Well, this town is obviously not the most accepting place so I assume they are scared that you guys will hate them for being gay.”

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo questions

“You’re so sheltered Soo, don't worry it's not a bad thing, in fact, it's a good thing. It just means that you don't really have any prejudices because you have never been exposed to anything out of the norm.” Baekhyun explains and Kyungsoo is confused.

“I suppose I've never really thought about those types of things before.” Kyungsoo says.

“Don't worry, you still have plenty of time to figure things out.” Baekhyun says ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair.

“I suppose. What's your, um, you know?” Kyungsoo asks timidly.

“My sexuality?” Baekhyun asks to clarify and Kyungsoo nods. “I haven't really figured it out yet, I thought I knew but I don't think I do anymore,” Baekhyun says, Kyungsoo’s face turns a light shade of pink when she turns back to Baekhyun, finding the other already staring at her rather intensely. She has so many butterflies in her stomach she can feel them rising in the back of her throat, a sensation similar to throwing up. She swallows hard trying to make the feelings disappear. 

“You know if you ever wanted to know since you haven't had your first kiss and all,” Baekhyun says trailing off at the end sounding unsure and Kyungsoo goes a deeper shade of red thinking the other will offer to take her first kiss. “I’m pretty sure Jongin likes you, so you could try dating him,” Baekhyun says with a glassy look in her eyes. Kyungsoo reddens, even more, thinking herself stupid for even thinking something so foolish. 

“Oh, um I guess I could do that,” Kyungsoo says going pale at the thought of kissing Jongin and feels a little confused by the mess in her head right now. She puts her confusing emotions to the back of her mind, not wanting to be consumed by them. She knows Jongin likes her but she never really thought of doing anything about it. Kyungsoo would much rather kiss Baekhyun any day than Jongin, not that she thought there was anything wrong with Jongin, she just saw him as a friend and nothing more.

“Why don’t you text him now?” Baekhyun suggests but her voice sounds tight like it isn't something she really wants to happen, Kyungsoo doesn't want it to happen either but chooses to stay quiet. Baekhyun seems to snap out of her thoughts after that and grabs Kyungsoo’s phone and texts Jongin. The conversation goes smoothly with Baekhyun’s help, a lot of flirting with Baekhyun being the forward person she is, but Kyungsoo can't help but feel like this is all wrong. She falls asleep with Baekhyun pressed against her right side and an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

The rest of the weekend passes by too fast for Kyungsoo’s liking, all too soon she's back in her school uniform and waiting for Baekhyun outside her house to walk to school together. She texted Jongin most of the weekend figuring that she doesn't have anything to lose and she may as well give it a chance. Baekhyun opens her door looking tired but otherwise put together and Kyungsoo is just happy to see her. Kyungsoo was anxious, Kyungsoo was anxious about Jongin. 

She was not anxious because of Jongin, she was anxious about the thought of him asking her out and her not knowing what to do. Unfortunately, it seemed fate was not on her side, as soon as she walked into the alcove Jongin looked up from his phone and gave her a shy grin. He approached her slowly eyes flicking from Baekhyun to her until Baekhyun gave her arm a squeeze and walked over to Chanyeol. Kyungsoo grabbed her wrist to stop her from going but Baekhyun only pulled her wrist away, Baekhyun gave her a smile that she was sure was supposed to be reassuring but was more wobbly than anything. She lifted her fist into the air and mouthed ‘fighting’ to her and Kyungsoo gave her a desperate look.

 

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Jongin says unsurely and Kyungsoo looks up at him and forces a smile, albeit wobbly.

“Hi, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says quietly. None of their friends was really at school yet and Baekhyun has taken Chanyeol's attention away from them. Kyungsoo starts fiddling with the buttons on her blazer to distract her racing mind.

“I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out after school?” He says hopefully.

“Like a date?” Kyungsoo blurts.

“Well if you would like?” Jongin says and Kyungsoo’s eyes flick to Baekhyun who is laughing loudly with Chanyeol and she feels a stab of jealousy. Kyungsoo knows she's being stupid because Baekhyun is only her friend and her laughing with Chanyeol doesn't mean anything, but the irrational side of her seems to be winning at this moment. Jongin follows her line of sight and he looks back at Kyungsoo a bit dejected. 

“Oh, you like Chanyeol don't you?” He says and Kyungsoo is more than a little surprised and she immediately looks back at Jongin.

“Oh my gosh no! Chanyeol is a great friend but nothing more!” Kyungsoo assures. “But yes I'll go on a date with you after school.” She finishes with more of a wince than a smile but Jongin seems happy enough. He grins widely at her, eyes lighting up in happiness. 

They arrange to meet out front when school ends, Jongin claiming he has an idea of what to do. The rest of their friends trickle in and Junmyeon comes over to talk to Jongin, Kyungsoo uses it as an opportunity to slip away and makes her way over to Baekhyun who is now talking to Yixing. Kyungsoo slips her hand into Baekhyun’s and squeezes it lightly, Baekhyun squeezes back looking at Kyungsoo, eyes flickering over her face.

“What happened?” Baekhyun asks, smiling excitedly, Kyungsoo grimaces. “Oh, was it not good?” Baekhyun frowns, trying to clarify.

“No, no. It was good, he asked me on a date.” Kyungsoo says.

“Oh, why do you seem so. I don't know, unhappy, unsure, reluctant? Shouldn't you be happy?” Baekhyun asks tentatively with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

Kyungsoo isn't really sure why she isn't enthused, maybe it's because Jongin has been her friend for a very long time, but It isn't likely because Jongin is a very attractive person that she believes she could grow to like. She just decides to chalk it up to the fact that she's never been on a date before and is unsure what to do or what to expect. She shrugs in a non-committal way and smiles, unable to look Baekhyun in the eye. Baekhyun reaches up as if to tilt Kyungsoo's head up to meet her eyes, but the bells rings and Baekhyun hurriedly moves away.

“I’ll see you at lunch then, okay?” Baekhyun says.

“Yeah, see you then,” Kyungsoo replies watching Baekhyun walk away. She breathes in deeply to calm her racing heart before heading to class. The day passes slowly with Kyungsoo growing more anxious as the minutes pass, by lunch time she's just about ready to throw up. She stands outside Baekhyun's class waiting for the bell to ring, having had study that period. She taps her foot incessantly, the only sound echoing in the empty corridor, but does little to distract her. The bell rings and Kyungsoo grabs Baekhyun’s arm as she leaves the classroom, leading her to the girl's bathrooms on that floor.

“Baekhyun I'm freaking out,” Kyungsoo says as soon as the bathroom door slams shut.

“What?” Baekhyun asks a little muddled as to why she was dragged here.

“About the date!” Kyungsoo exclaims, throwing her hands up to emphasise. 

“Why?” Baekhyun asks, still looking a little confused.

“I'm not actually sure why myself. I thought maybe it's because I've never been on a date before, but I don't even feel like this when I do solos in the church choir!” 

“Kyungsoo, no offence but that didn't really clear up this situation.”

“I suppose you're right, can I just explain how I'm feeling and you can just tell me what you think?”

“Yeah that's alright I suppose.” 

“Okay, so I've been thinking about this a lot. Like, Jongin is a really attractive guy, but maybe I see him as too much of a friend to date him because every time I imagine kissing him, I can't. it's just gross and I don't know why.” Kyungsoo explains.

“Have you ever really thought about kissing anyone before?” Baekhyun asks, and yes Kyungsoo has. 

“No.” She lies.

“Well, then it's probably because you have never kissed anyone and can't imagine what it's like,” Baekhyun says shrugging. Kyungsoo just decides to agree as she would rather not tell Baekhyun that the only person she has imagined kissing was her. While Kyungsoo would rather hide in the bathrooms the rest of lunch to avoid Jongin, Baekhyun drags her out claiming she is hungry and does not want to eat in the bathroom. Kyungsoo knows it's to encourage her to talk to Jongin, even if she doesn't want to. When they arrive at the alcove Baekhyun tries to usher her to sit next to Jongin, but Kyungsoo clings to Baekhyun choosing to squeeze herself in between Baekhyun and Chanyeol across from Jongin. She looks up to see Jongin looking at her and she offers a small smile which Jongin returns tenfold.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur, Kyungsoo being too busy to think of Jongin for the moment, but as soon as the bell rings to signal the end of the day, the anxiousness is back. She slowly packs her bag and plans walk to the front of the school at a turtle's pace, in a pathetic attempt to stall. Fate seems to not be on her side today as when she leaves the classroom last, she is startled to find Jongin standing outside waiting for her. He's frowning at something on his phone and looks a little like a disgruntled puppy, Kyungsoo can't help the small smile that grows on her face at the thought. Baekhyun looks like a puppy too, Kyungsoo loves puppies.

“Oh, hi Jongin,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin snaps out of his reverie.

“Hi, Kyungsoo!” He answers, slipping his phone into his back pocket. “Let me take your bag.” He continues.

“Oh no, no! You don't have to.” Kyungsoo protests but Jongin has already pulled her backpack off her back and slipped it over his left shoulder on top of his own bag.

“Of course I do! What kind of date would I be if I didn't.” Jongin says smiling. Kyungsoo being too flustered to protest any further even though Jongin's actions were completely unnecessary, Kyungsoo is perfectly capable of carrying her own bag. She knows Baekhyun would argue further, claiming that it implies the man sees her as weak if he thinks she can't carry her own bag, but Kyungsoo isn't Baekhyun and would rather not protest something so small. 

“So, where are we going?” Kyungsoo questions. 

“Well I thought we could get some food, do you like pizza?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo nods absentmindedly. Admittedly, she doesn't really like western food but supposes it really can't hurt her to eat it. They leave school and head into town where the only restaurant that serves western food is. They walk in silence and Kyungsoo is glad, not wanting to make small talk. She’s watching a bird take off in front of her when Jongin's hand brushes against hers at her side, she flinches, retracting her hand away and looking at Jongin in surprise.

“Sorry!” Jongin says looking a little like he had done something terribly wrong. Kyungsoo figured he just wanted to hold her hand and she berates herself for overreacting.

“No, it's okay!” She reassures loudly, grabbing Jongin's hand. He laughs and threads their fingers together, swinging them back and forth lightly. His hands are a little sweaty and rough, Kyungsoo can't help but compare them to Baekhyun's hands. Baekhyun whose hands are small and soft, warm but not too warm. Kyungsoo finds herself wishing it was Baekhyun’s hand she was holding and not Jongin’s. She shakes herself out of her thoughts, knowing that Baekhyun is not the person she should be thinking about, she was only a friend after all.

They walk into town with the heat of the sun beating down on them and the sweatiness of their hands become almost unbearable, Jongin doesn't seem to mind though as he continues to grin. Kyungsoo pulls her hand away from his as soon as they enter the pizza place and tries to subtly wipe her hand on her skirt. Jongin leads her over to a booth near the back where they sit across from each other. 

Jongin looks like an overexcited child that can't sit still as he sits there reading the menu, Kyungsoo observes him instead of figuring she will just get whatever Jongin suggests. Jongin, Kim Jongin, a boy she had known for most of her life, a boy that would make most girls heart flutter at the sight, but not hers. Kyungsoo supposes it's because she has grown up with Jongin and has had ample time to get used to his handsome face, but she knows she is just trying to make excuses.

“What are you getting Soo?” Jongin asks, resting his chin in his hand that is propped up by his elbow on the table. 

“Hm.” She hums, eyes flickering over the menu. “I'm not sure, what do you recommend?” She asks as Jongin's eyes light up.

“Ah, you've never been here before, have you?” Jongin asks, Kyungsoo nods in confirmation that she had not, in fact, been there before. They go on group hangouts all the time but they usually just eat at the restaurant Junmyeon’s parents own as they get discounts. Jongin rambles about the different pizzas for a bit before he realises that he has been talking about why pineapple doesn't belong on pizza for too long and flushes. Kyungsoo giggles, Jongin always had been painfully adorable.

“I guess I just won't pick a pizza with pineapple then,” Kyungsoo replies easily. And that's how the rest of the date goes, easily. 

They order their pizza and talk comfortably until they get it, Kyungsoo finds the food a little too greasy for her liking and gives Jongin half of hers claiming to be full. It almost felt like they were hanging out with everyone, except they weren't, they were on a date, but Kyungsoo can't seem to process that. It isn't until they are walking home that Kyungsoo realises Jongin might try and kiss her because it is a date, Kyungsoo had always been told that is what happens. She had never kissed anyone and didn't really know what to expect, she clutches Jongin's hand nervously. They arrive outside Kyungsoo’s house, and she looks around cautiously, half expecting her mother to be watching her from the window. 

“You didn't need to walk me home Jongin, but thanks.” Kyungsoo says.

“I wanted to.” Jongin says rubbing the back of his neck. They stand there awkwardly for a few moments, Kyungsoo can tell Jongin is staring at her lips and she avoids eye contact. Jongin leans forward a little as if to kiss her.

“Well i'm going to go now.” Kyungsoo says, taking a step back. Jongin looks understandably a bit put out. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?” She adds, he seems to perk up at that. 

“Can we have lunch together?” Jongin asks, holding Kyungsoo’s hand tighter to stop her from leaving.

“We have lunch together everyday.” Kyungsoo says laughing awkwardly.

“I mean with just us.” Jongin clarifies, Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and she looks up at him.

“Yeah sure, i'd like that.” Kyungsoo says softly, with a small smile. “But I really do have to go now, i'll see you tomorrow.” She says stepping away and letting go of his hand.

“Have a good night Soo.” Jongin says, hands in his pocket starting to walk away. 

“You too!” Kyungsoo calls back waiting till she can't see him anymore and running inside.

Her heart is thumping loudly, she isn't sure if it's because she's worried her mum saw her, or worse Baekhyun. She quickly runs upstairs ignoring her mother calling her name, she knows she will get scolded for that tomorrow, but for now she just wants to crawl under the covers of her bed and never come out again. She quickly takes off her clothes and hops in her bed, pajamas are not important when her mind is a mess. 

She lies on her back, grabbing a stuffed toy from beside her and screams into it loudly. She kicks her feet, venting her frustrations onto the poor stuffed toy that did nothing, but Kyungsoo’s inner turmoil is a much more pressing issue than the wellbeing of an inanimate object. She doesn't fall asleep easily that night, she tosses and turns, mind unable to think of anything but the dread of seeing Jongin tomorrow, or how she would much rather kiss Baekhyun's pretty lips.

The next day Jongin had behaved just as she had expected, shy and earnest to gain her affections. Baekhyun on the other hand, did not. The other girl seemed content with basically ignoring Kyungsoo’s presence, preferring to give her full attention to Chanyeol. Over the next few weeks, as she went on more dates with Jongin, well she assumed they were dates, Baekhyun grew closer and closer to Chanyeol. Kyungsoo pretended she wasn't staring longingly at the other, wondering what she did wrong but too afraid to make the first move. They still walked to school together and Baekhyun behaved normally when it was just them, but it seemed when they were in the presence of Jongin that other girl seemed to shut her out. Kyungsoo can't seem to figure out why.

Baekhyun’s obnoxious laugh rings loud in her ears and Kyungsoo bites angrily into her apple. She isn't mad at Baekhyun, she's mad at Chanyeol, the bubbling feeling in her stomach almost seems like jealousy, but it can't be. Kyungsoo can't think of any reason she would have to be jealous of Chanyeol. Except maybe one.

Jongin had asked her to be his girlfriend a little unexpectedly, he had been eating lunch rather quietly, which was unlike him, and Kyungsoo had asked what was wrong and he sort of shouted it in her face. Their friends all froze and turned to stare at them, Kyungsoo flustered under their gazes, she didn't really want to say yes, but she couldn't think of a reason to say no either. She didn't want to embarrass him, so she said yes. Her stomach clenched in semblance of regret.

Most of their friends hooted and laughed loudly, congratulating them, all except Baekhyun. Baekhyun who had turned white as a sheet, firsts clenching and unclenching, Chanyeol who was cheering along with the rest one minute and the next pulling Baekhyun away saying something had happened at home. Kyungsoo stared worryingly after her, she wanted so badly to go with them, but she couldn't bring herself to get up off the seat next to Jongin, Jongin who’s sweaty hand clutched hers tightly as he smiled at her so earnestly.

Weeks went by, and then it had been a month and a half since her and Baekhyun had spoken, Kyungsoo didn't think she should be so upset, should miss her as much as she did, they hadn't even been friends all that long. But Kyungsoo missed her so much. She would see Baekhyun in the corridors with Chanyeol attached to her side like a leech, she wanted to go over and talk to her but she had her own leech that never left her side, and she had a feeling the reason Baekhyun didn't want to talk to her was because she didn't like Jongin. Kyungsoo couldn't understand why, Baekhyun had told her to date Jongin, she had only done what she was told. If Baekhyun had told her to date anyone she would have.

It was friday after school, Jongin had just asked her to stay the night at his place that night, he had said his parents wouldn't be home. Kyungsoo knew the implications, she knew what he meant and still she had stupidly agreed. They had kissed a few times now, Kyungsoo’s first kiss was, well, it was okay to put it simply, but Jongin inviting Kyungsoo over when his parents were gone for the night was another thing entirely. She was scared, Jongin had never forced her to do anything, but being alone with him for a whole night was something she was not fully comfortable with. 

She knocked on his door an hour later with her overnight bag clutched in her hand, her hands were shaking and she felt like throwing up right on his doorstep. She had asked her mum for permission in hopes she would say no, but for some reason her mother jumped at the chance for her to spend the night at Jongin’s. So now here she was.

Jongin opened the door a moment later, he was grinning at her widely, dressed in an old flannel and shorts, his hair was fluffy like he had just had a shower and hastily dried it, which she supposed he had done. He grabbed her bag from her and opened the door wide to let her in. Kyungsoo had been in his house many times having grown up with him and been to all his birthday parties, it was a normal little house like every other one in the neighbourhood.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Jongin asked as he lead her into his lounge, throwing her bag onto the couch and motioning for her to sit down. 

“Water would be great thanks.” Kyungsoo replied, nervously sitting on the couch by her bag. Jongin gives her a hum in reply and disappears into the kitchen, he comes out a few minutes later with a glass of water in one hand and a can of coke in the other, she doesn't like coke. He hands her the water and Kyungsoo takes a few small sips before placing it on the table, Jongin cracks open his coke and does the same.

They decide to watch a movie, Kyungsoo lets Jongin pick who, of course, picks the avengers. Kyungsoo is not a big fan of action movies, she prefers fantasy movies, another thing they don't have in common. Kyungsoo tells herself to stop looking for differences, they also have a lot in common, but she doesn't want to think about those at all. Ten minutes into the movie she finally relaxes into the couch, another ten minutes and she tenses again as Jongin puts his arm around her. She's being silly and she knows it, this is her boyfriend, this is Jongin, she relaxes a little. No more than twenty minutes later she feels Jongin’s gaze on the side of her face, she looks up at him confused only for him to capture her mouth in a kiss, she squeals.

“Jongin watch the movie!” She exclaims pulling away.

“You’re much more interesting than the movie Soo.” He replied, pulling her back into the kiss. She shudders, not liking where this is going. Things escalate quickly after that, all too soon she's on her back with her shirt being pulled up by Jongin's curious hands. She whimpers, not from pleasure but from fear, she doesn't like this, she doesn't know what to do. Jongin squeezes her breast and she chokes off a sob that he takes for pleasure. The combination of Jongin's now hard dick pressing into her stomach and the sounds of fighting in the avengers in the background cause her to snap.

“S-Stop.” She stutters out, hands gripping the fabric of the couch tightly. Jongin doesn't seem to hear her as he continues to press kisses to her neck, sucking particularly hard at one spot and she knows it will leave a mark. “Jongin stop!” She says louder, pushing him off her and onto the floor, he looks up at her in shock as tears begin to leak from her eyes.

“What's wrong!?” He says, scrambling up off the floor with clear worry painted on his face. He keeps his distance as Kyungsoo begins to sob, she puts her shirt back on as fast as her shaking body can.

“I-I” She says struggling to find the words. “I have to go.” She finally gets out, grabbing her bag and running away from a shocked and worried Jongin.

Jongin doesn't live far from her house, only a few blocks away, she breaks into a sprint as soon as she’s out the door. It's dark now, not many people are around and she's grateful for that as she knows she must look a mess, she's sure her mother would not like to hear that her daughter was seen running through the neighbourhood crying and looking like she had just had sex. 

She runs past her house and straight to Baekhyun's door where she knocks frantically, she’s not sure if Baekhyun would want to see her but she did not want to show up home like this. Plus she wanted the comfort of Baekhyun's arms right now, she needed her. The tears that had dried up as she was running came back as soon as Baekhyun opened the door, Kyungsoo fell into her shocked arms and broke down completely. Baekhyun quickly brought her inside, taking her upstairs to her room before lying to her mother that Kyungsoo had gotten into a fight with her mother and was upset. 

“Kyungsoo what happened?” Baekhyun asks crouching down beside Kyungsoo who is curled on the floor leaning on the bed. “Did you and Jongin break up?” She guesses.

“No.” Kyungsoo mutters miserably, wiping her nose on her sleeve as tears continue to fall.

“You have to talk to me Soo.” Baekhyun says gently, Kyungsoo feels a little better after hearing Baekhyun call her Soo for the first time in weeks. 

“I can't do this Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo admits.

“What can you do?” Baekhyun asks, understandably confused.

“I can't date Jongin, I hate it.”

“Does he treat you badly?”

“No he treats me fine, amazing even.” She says frustrated. “I just can't keep pretending i'm attracted to him, every single inch of my body is disgusted when he touches me, what's wrong with me Baekhyun?” She finishes, looking at Baekhyun desperately for answers. She knows what she must look like, a hickey on her neck, hair and clothes a mess, face probably red and puffy, but she doesn't mind when it's Baekhyun. 

“Nothings wrong with you Soo.” Baekhyun reassures. 

“But I'm supposed to like it when a boy holds my hand and kisses me sweetly, when he-” She shudders, “He touches me.” She finishes. She sees Baekhyun frowning.

“You don't have to like anything you don't want to.” Baekhyun says.

“What about things that I like but don't want to?” 

“You should like the things that feel right, it's not a matter of what you should or shouldn't like, and you should dislike the things you don't like freely without fear.” Baekhyun says, reaching out and grabbing Kyungsoo’s hand and giving it a squeeze. They sit there for a few minutes, the only sounds being from Kyungsoo who is sniffing, tears finally stopping.

“I like this.” Kyungsoo admits, leaning to rest her head against Baekhyun's shoulder.

“I like this too.” Baekhyun replies softly, bringing her other hand up to run through Kyungsoo’s hair.

“You need to break up with Jongin.” Baekhyun says after a while, breaking the silence.

“I know.” Kyungsoo says, sighing as she burrows her head into Baekhyun's shoulder. “Can I hide here for the weekend though?” Kyungsoo asks. “Ive missed you so much.” She adds, breathing in the sent of Baekhyun that she didn't know she had missed.

“I've missed you too.” Baekhyun says kissing the top of Kyungsoo’s head. Kyungsoo falls asleep unbelievably happy that she will be waking up in Baekhyun’s arms and not Jongin's.

Kyungsoo wakes up in the morning to find Baekhyun already gone, the side the other slept on was still warm so Kyungsoo can only assume she got up a few minutes before her. She reaches over the bed for her bag and grabs her phone, unlocking it to see dozens of missed calls and texts from Jongin that she ignores, opting instead to send her mum a text to let her know she will stay at Baekhyun’s the whole weekend. She knows her mother won't say no as she is good friends with Baekhyun's mum now. Kyungsoo gets out of bed and heads straight for the bathroom dying to pee. She comes downstairs to see Baekhyun sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast.

“Morning!” Baekhyun greets her cheerfully. “My mum made breakfast before she went out.” She finishes, motioning for Kyungsoo to come over.

“Morning.” Kyungsoo replies with a small smile. She sits down on the seat next to Baekhyun who pushes a bowl in front of her.

“You know I'm glad.” Baekhyun suddenly says.

“Why?” Kyungsoo questions, beginning to eat.

“Because you are here and not with Jongin.” Baekhyun answers.

“I find it weird that you don't like him so much Baekhyun, well considering you told me to date him.” Kyungsoo says, more than a little confused. 

“It's not that I don't like Jongin, I just don't like him with you.” Baekhyun explains in between mouthfuls.

“Why? That's very confusing Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo says frowning, Baekhyun sighs.

“I just made a huge mistake when I told you to date him, I should have told you to date someone else.” Baekhyun says softly, avoiding eye contact. 

“Like who?” Kyungsoo says, heart pounding in her chest.

“Me.” Baekhyun's reply knocks the wind out of her chest. Kyungsoo stops breathing, waiting for Baekhyun’s loud ‘Just joking!’ But it never comes, Kyungsoo only starts breathing when Baekhyun starts eating her breakfast again. Baekhyun’s cheeks are stained a pretty pink, and Kyungsoo is sure her face is as white as a ghost. She’s both happy and terrified, she never expected to come face to face with it just yet, she never thought Baekhyun would like her back, it must be some sort of joke.

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo croaks, throat tight. “You shouldn't say things like that.” She feels anxious, her hands shake.

“What?” Baekhyun questions this time, looking up at her timidly.

“It's a joke right?” Tears begin to form in her eyes, she looks down letting her hair fall down in front of her face to hide it. “You like Chanyeol.” She chokes out, clutching her pajama pants to stop her trembling hands. 

“What?” Baekhyun asks again. “I love Chanyeol but I could never like him like that.” 

“Why not?”

“Kyungsoo, I'm gay.” Baekhyun says after a big breath. Kyungsoo lets out a loud sob as her tears start to fall, Baekhyun clutches her trembling hand in her own. “This might be too soon for a confession considering what happened last night, but I really like you Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun says using her other hand to tilt Kyungsoo’s chin up, tears are falling silently down Baekhyun's face as well.

“I- this.” Kyungsoo starts to say, she takes a few gasping breaths in between sobs before continuing. “This is too soon Baekhyun, please give me some time.” Baekhyun looks so vulnerable and Kyungsoo can't stand it, Baekhyun is the strong one, Kyungsoo likes her so much it makes her chest ache. She’s just not ready for this yet.

“Okay.” Baekhyun says sadly, pulling her hand away to give Kyungsoo some space clearly seeing that as a rejection.

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo says quickly, hand shooting out to grab Baekhyun's wrist to stop her from moving away. “Please don't go.” Kyungsoo stands up and pulls Baekhyun into a hug, she buries her face into the crook of the others neck. Baekhyun hesitates for a moment, before wrapping her arms around Kyungsoo’s shaking form.

“I'm not going anywhere.” Baekhyun reassures, kissing the top of Kyungsoo’s head. Kyungsoo is never usually this emotional, and she honestly feels like a mess. she's exhausted, Her sleep was restless last night, not even sleeping in Baekhyun's arms could stop her from remembering the things that had happened earlier that night. Baekhyun seems to sense this as she leads Kyungsoo back to her bedroom, pulling her back into the bed and letting Kyungsoo’s head settle on her chest whispering for her to go back to sleep.

Kyungsoo is not sure what time it is when she wakes up again, but Baekhyun is still there, running her fingers through her hair comfortingly with one hand and a book clutched in the other. Kyungsoo feels so safe and warm, she never wants to move again. Baekhyun fills her with a kind of desire she had never experienced before, the desire to stray from her mother's wishes for her life. Kyungsoo doesn't want to marry a man, she only wants Baekhyun.

The weekend passes in bliss, filled with lots of cuddles, laughter and avoidance of basically everything outside of Baekhyun’s house. But all too soon it’s monday and Kyungsoo still hasn’t replied to any of Jongin’s texts, She knows that this is all going to catch up with her as soon as she steps into school and sees Jongin. For now she clutches Baekhyun’s hand tightly as they walk to school, she doesn't say and word and neither does Baekhyun. The other seems to sense her unease as she squeezes her hand, they had rehearsed how this was going to go in the weekend, Kyungsoo was going to breakup with Jongin. As soon as they enter the school gates Jongin approaches them, Kyungsoo has expected this but the reality of what’s to come is still so overwhelming.

“Hi.” Jongin says standing in front of them, looking pointedly at Baekhyun.

“Right, i’ll see you later Soo.” Baekhyun says with one final squeeze of her hand before letting go. Jongin frowns after hearing Baekhyun call her Soo. Kyungsoo just wants to beg Baekhyun not to go and to break up with him for her, it's too late though, Baekhyun is already at Chanyeol's side and Jongin has grabbed her hand and is leading her into school. 

“We need to talk.” Jongin says after leading her to a secluded area in school, there is still plenty of time before first period starts so at least that’s one less thing she feels she has to worry about. “I’m really sorry about what happened on friday, I feel really bad, I had no idea I was making you uncomfortable-”

“Jongin.” Kyungsoo says trying to interrupt.

“I know you are from a very conservative family and I should have thought about that first, I shouldn't have forced myself onto you like that, you know I never had any bad intentions, you know me, I just like you so much in fact-” Jongin continues.

“Jongin it’s fine, i’m not mad at you!” Kyungsoo blurts, as Jongin desperately clutches her hands.

“I think I love you.” Jongin breathes out after Kyungsoo’s interruption. Kyungsoo freezes, she had not been prepared for this, love, her loves her. “It’s okay you don’t have to say it back now.” Jongin adds bringing one of his hands up to her face to pull her into a soft kiss. She feels sick, she can't even bring herself to utter a word. Jongin takes it as acceptance pulling her into a hug.

“We can wait until marriage I don’t mind.” Jongin murmurs into the top of her head, pressing a kiss there just like Baekhyun had done earlier, but instead of feeling warmth and butterflies in her stomach she only feels her breakfast rising back up. 

Jongin walks her to class and Kyungsoo still hasn't uttered a word, she is shocked, she never expected this at all. She sits in her seat hands shaking and doesn’t hear a word the teacher says. As soon as the bell rings she bolts out of the classroom in search of Baekhyun who had another class first period. She rams into an unsuspecting Baekhyun who is on her way to second period and drags her into the bathroom on that floor.

“Kiss me.” Kyungsoo demands as soon as the door slams shut and she checks to see if it's empty.

“What?” Baekhyun asks clearly confused by her demanding attitude. 

“Please.” Kyungsoo says desperately moving closer to Baekhyun.

“What sprung this on?” Baekhyun asks clearly amused. “Did you break up with Jongin?” Kyungsoo pauses at that question, slumping into Baekhyun’s frame.

“He told me he loves me.” Kyungsoo mutters into the other’s shoulder.

“But you broke up with him right?” Baekhyun asks pulling back and frowning at her, Kyungsoo’s eyes fill with tears.

“No.” She answers, feeling pathetic. “How could I do that, I literally froze after he said it, I couldn't even utter a word.” 

“Oh Soo.” Baekhyun sighs pulling her back into her embrace.

“I feel so pathetic.” Kyungsoo says in a thick voice, throat tight from holding back tears.

“To be fair I wouldn't be able to break up with Jongin if he told me he loved me.” Baekhyun says trying to make light of the situation.

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo whines.

“Sorry, sorry!” Baekhyun faux apologises. “Don't worry though, we can just wait a few days and you can try again.” She adds to reassure Kyungsoo.

“Will you still kiss me though?” Kyungsoo asks lifting her head up to look at Baekhyun. 

“Anything to make you feel better.” Baekhyun says, leaning down to peck Kyungsoo softly on the lips. Kyungsoo can't help but think that the peck Baekhyun had given her was a million times better than any of Jongin's kisses. Just from the way Baekhyun’s lips are soft and make hers tingle. 

“I feel a million times better now thank you.” Kyungsoo says with a shy smile.

“Promise me you will breakup with him though.” Baekhyun says pointedly.

“I will.” Kyungsoo promises. 

“Okay we better get to class now and hope we don’t get in trouble.” Baekhyun announces pulling away from Kyungsoo. 

“Yes we should.” Kyungsoo answers before pecking Baekhyun on the lips again and darting out of the bathroom. She hears Baekhyun yelling her name but she doesn't turn back, only grins and rushes to class. She feels bad but the overwhelming feeling of being happy in Baekhyun's presence overpowers that feeling for now.

Baekhyun stays by her side for the rest of the week, wherever Kyungsoo is Baekhyun is too. At lunch she sits pressed between Baekhyun and Jongin, the animosity between them thick in the air, with Jongin clutching her hand on the table and Baekhyun’s gripped tightly on her thigh below the table. Their other friends sit around them only vaguely aware of the tension between them. Kyungsoo is extremely grateful for Baekhyun’s constant support but she knows the other is growing frustrated by the fact she still hasn't broken up with Jongin. On the other hand she can feel the jealousy radiating off Jongin whenever Baekhyun is near, clearly not liking how comfortable Kyungsoo is around her or how much attention she gives the other. She feels so bad for him. Poor sweet Jongin who loves her, poor sweet Jongin who she doesn't love back. But she still can't bring herself to tell him.

This continues for another month, the secret kisses shared between her and Baekhyun in private and the open affection Jongin gives her in public. Baekhyun eventually snapped just as Kyungsoo had feared. Baekhyun had spent the day at Kyungsoo’s side watching Jongin be overly affectionate, feeding her, kissing her, holding her hands. Kyungsoo can see Baekhyun is fuming but she doesn’t know what to do as she awkwardly goes along with Jongin. 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Baekhyun says abruptly. “Kyungsoo come with me.” She finishes, standing up and pulling Kyungsoo with her, Jongin opens his mouth to protest but Kyungsoo has already agreed grabbing, Baekhyun’s hand and Walking away with her.

Baekhyun takes her to the bathroom on the second floor that is rarely used at lunchtime and locks the door. Baekhyun pushes her against the sinks and presses their lips together, Kyungsoo is too shocked to respond for a few seconds before she kisses back with just as much enthusiasm. Baekhyun grabs her upper thighs and taps them, Kyungsoo gets the hint and jumps up onto the counter supported by Baekhyun’s grip.

“Kyungsoo I can’t do this anymore.” Baekhyun groans after pulling back from the kiss. Kyungsoo whines trying to press their lips back together but Baekhyun keeps pulling away. “I want you to be mine, I don’t want to see you with Jongin anymore. My heart hurts everytime I see him kiss you or hold your hand, Kyungsoo you’re hurting me.” Baekhyun admits.

“I’ll break up with him I promise.” Kyungsoo says, running her hands through Baekhyun’s hair and pulling her into the kiss again. Baekhyun melts into it for a few seconds before pulling away again.

“Kyungsoo i’m serious, if you don’t break up with him I can’t be around you anymore.”

“But Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo protests.

“Kyungsoo you need to stop being so selfish, you are stringing two people along!” Baekhyun cries out. Kyungsoo stays silent for a few minutes.

“It's not like I like him anyway, I like you.” Kyungsoo finally says.

“And that is exactly why you need to breakup with him Soo, don’t you see how much you’re hurting me and yourself.” Baekhyun says softly. Kyungsoo has known what she needs to do for a long time, she just can't seem to bring herself to do it.

“It’s hard Baek, I don’t want to hurt him.” Kyungsoo admits.

“I know it’s hard but at the end of the day you need to decide who and what is more important to you.”

“How?” Kyungsoo asks, she really doesn’t want to hurt Jongin or Baekhyun.

“Does Jongin make you feel like this?” Baekhyun questions kissing her again. 

“Does he make your heart beat fast when he kisses you?” She continues bringing her hands up to unbutton the top of Kyungsoo’s school shirt.

“Does he make your knees feel weak when he’s around?” She says as she pulls down Kyungsoo’s shirt, kissing up her neck. Kyungsoo moves her head back to give the other more access. 

“No.” Kyungsoo replies as a breathy moan.

“Does he make you feel good when he touches you here?” Baekhyun whispers in her ear moving her hand up Kyungsoo’s skirt to press it against her clothed folds. Kyungsoo thrusts into the other’s hand, thighs clenching around it.

“Does he turn you on like I do?” She says, Kyungsoo moans. Baekhyun pulls her hand away suddenly and Kyungsoo is left sitting there aching and wet.

“Baekhyun please.” Kyungsoo whines. Baekhyun had never touched her like this, she had never felt so good, she doesn’t want it to stop.

“Does he?” Baekhyun asks again.

“No he doesn't, just you, only you!” Kyungsoo says pulling Baekhyun back into an urgent kiss.

“Break up with him.” Baekhyun states pulling back once more.

“I will tonight.” Kyungsoo swears she will do it this time, for Baekhyun.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun says softly. She buttons Kyungsoo’s shirt back up and Kyungsoo grimaces once the lust clears from her vision.

“Baekhyun that was gross we are in the school bathrooms.” 

“You didn't seem to be complaining a second ago.” Baekhyun rebuts, shrugging her shoulders indifferently. They both laugh as they fix their appearances, Kyungsoo feels light and happy until they leave the bathroom and dread fills her with what she’s about to do tonight. 

She doesn’t see Jongin for the rest of the day but flicks him a text to meet after school to which he responds with an enthusiastic yes and Kyungsoo feels so guilty. Kyungsoo knows how much this will change things, not only Jongin will hate her but her mother too. Her mother who has always been against homosexuality, funnily enough her daughter is one of the things she loathes. Kyungsoo doesn't want to pretend anymore, she does not like Jongin as more than a friend and she does not want to make herself suffer by staying with him for the rest of her life. 

Jongin approaches her after school where she had told him to meet her, he leans in to kiss her but Kyungsoo pulls away. Jongin frowns down at her and opens his mouth to ask her what’s wrong. Kyungsoo interrupts him before he can ask. She has this all planned out, what she wants to say and all, but she is still so nervous.

“Jongin can we be honest?” She asks after a deep breathe. Jongin pauses and looks at her confused.

“Uh, sure.” He replies. Kyungsoo looks down to avoid eye contact.

“I’m so sorry Jongin but I don’t love you.” She finally gets out. She looks up expecting him to look upset, confused or even angry but instead he looks down at her with a smile.

“That’s okay, you will love me one day.” He says and Kyungsoo wants to groan, this is so hard.

“No Jongin, I don’t like boys.” She admits, eyes filling up with tears.

“Oh.” Is all he says. “Oh.” He says again when he realises what she meant. She bites her lip hard enough to draw blood as she tries to keep from sobbing.

“I’m so sorry.” She says, burying her face in her hands as her tears began to fall. “I really didn't want to hurt you, but someone made me realise that i'm hurting you more and myself by not telling you.”

“I guess you're breaking up with me then?” She hears Jongin say, his voice sounds tight and strained and she can tell he's trying not to cry. She nods. 

“I’m sorry.” She says again. Jongin pulls her into a hug.

“I guess it kind of makes sense now.” He says, voice slightly muffled by her hair. “Why you were never comfortable when I touched you.” 

“I‘m sorry.”

“I’m not mad Kyungsoo, upset yes, but I could never be mad at you, you don't need to apologize.” 

“Can we still be friends?” Kyungsoo asks hopefully.

“Give me some time first but i’ll come around.” Jongin replies, pulling back from the hug with red eyes.

“Okay.” She says softly.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” He says as he steps back.

“Bye.” Kyungsoo says as she wipes her runny nose on the back of her hand. She watches Jongin walk away with his shoulders shaking until she can no longer see him. She feels unmistakingly guilty, Jongin was too good for her, too kind, she really hopes that one day he will find someone who can give him just as much love as hes got to give. 

Kyungsoo then finds herself breaking into a run towards the street she lives on, but instead of going into her own home she runs right past it and into the arms of an awaiting Baekhyun. Her heart bursts in her chest as she kisses Baekhyun, the kiss tastes salty from the tears still running down her cheeks but she is happy. She is happy to be in Baekhyun’s arms, she is happy to be free, she is happy to be home.


End file.
